I read a quote in this book I'm reading, "Short Term Job-Adventures." I was able to relate to it...

“Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do in order to have what you want.” – Margaret Young

Who I really am is not mainstream-America at all. For a long time my need to be accepted and feel as though I belong outweighed my desire (and my courage) to do what felt right to me, and I will be changing that fairly soon. YAY!