Today was so awesome. After sleeping in a little, I went ahead and drove to Borders and perused and bought some interesting books. After that I bought a few groceries, and then picked up lunch at one of my favorite restaurants....Taste Cafe (it's a locally owned place, so you wouldn't know it unless you are from Indy). The weather was freaking awesome today (sunny and mid-sixties), so I took my lunch to a little park and had myself a picnic. I then proceeded to dose off while lying in the grass. I love doing that. I then took a walk and am now at Starbucks sipping on some tea while doing my Spanish homework next to their fireplace. It was an incredibly relaxing day. I need to try to do this more often.

Oh, and a hawk landed in one of the bushes next to my house and hassled some of the smaller birds. It was the weirdest thing....it just swooped out the sky and landed in a bush. Generally I don't think of hawks being in a neighborhood that is close to a bustling part of the city. I took a picture of it. It's all blurry because I wasn't able to use the flash since I was taking it through a window.

Last night I went to see Soledad O'Brien speak. She is SO cool. The topic was on diversity...she herself has a mother who is half Black/half Cuban and a father who is half Irish/half Australian. She basically just spoke about her background, how she got to where she is today, the experiences she came across that dealt with her race, and stories that she has covered around the world that dealt with race/ethnicity. She did a wonderful job talking to all of us.

At the end was a question/answer period in which members of the audience could go up to two microphones at the front of the stage and ask questions. I finally got the courage to go up and ask her question. It was AWESOME! My heart was beating so hard it felt like it was going to bust out of my chest. But I was able to very clearly and (seemingly) calmly ask her this question (I first introduced myself and my background to her):

"I was wondering what your take is on the current climate in the US in which it seems almost acceptable to discriminate against Arabs, and in particular, Muslims. "

The funny thing is that I don't remember half of what she answered because I was so damn nervous. But she said that it, obviously, stems from 9/11 and ignorance. That I need to focus on standing up for and accurately representing "my people." And she said something else that got the crowd to start clapping, but I can't remember what it was, now. Afterwards I was just beaming, though. What an interesting evening and a total rush at the end.

I went to the Nickel Creek concert this last Sunday. It was so incredibly good! Even the opening band, The Ditty Bops, were awesome! They played 20's and 30's style dance....they had a very eclectic, fun, and weird sound. And every now and then they would have this guy come on the stage in the middle of them playing a song who would do magic tricks. It was so cool.

And then Nickel Creek came out. They were so incredibly good, too. They are a blugrass band with a bit of a progressive sound to it. They have this mood they project out into the crowd that is very intense. And they make eye contact with people in the crowd....it was very interesting. The one member of the band (the female) plays the violin and is so incredible at it. She makes me want to take more violin lessons (I took lessons one summer and decided that I didn't have enough time to practice). I would LOVE to bust out music on the violin like she does. *sigh* Maybe someday....so many things I want to do with so little time!

Anyway, the photos I have aren't that great. We were so close to the stage that it was hard to get a clear shot without various heads in the way from the crowd. The first one is the Ditty Bops...and yes she is playing a washboard in this one. The second is Nickel Creek.

I'm back from Orlando! It was a fun trip, although I doubt I'd ever choose Orlando as a place to vacation. It's a bit too flashy/touristy for my taste....and everything is all about Disney, of course. But besides going to the conference, I also ate dinner at a Vietnamese Restaurant, which was very good food. I went to Unverisal's City Walk, which is a bunch of clubs, bars, restaurants and had a beer at an Irish Pub with a piano bar. And (this is the COOLEST) I did a "Skyventure"....it was a simulated free-fall in this wind-chamber. It blows air up at up to 120mph. I'm all suited up in this gear, helmet, goggles, and you fall into the wind and float around for awhile. There is an instructor in the chamber with you and they tell you how to better position yourself, etc (through hand-gestures since you can't hear what they are saying). During my second trial, the instructor grabbed my arm and leg and spun me around about 5 or 6 times before I was done. It was so much fun! The pictures I've included here are of the Coronado Hotel (I didn't stay there, but some friends of mine did) and of me in my gear before the skyventure.

I finally have pictures of my new place. I still need to do some decoration on the walls, but you get the gist. My favorite space is the "TV room," which is really just the other side of the great room (since the dining room is in the same space as the living room, really). Also, notice the tiny kitchen when you look at the dining room picture. It's quite tiny, but it accommodates my needs just fine. I didn't like my bedroom at first, so I put up the the drape-thingee over the bed and put some extra pillows around to make it more cozy. I think it looks pretty nice, now.

I'll be having another blogging hiatus, as I'll be in Orlando this week for a work-related conference. I'll return on Friday and will post pictures of my trip on Monday, most likely. Unless I happen to have Internet access there, in which case you may hear from me sooner.

I made a resolution this week to stop compromising myself. It's pretty amazing how "being nice" to everyone pretty much all of the time....which until recently, being nice also means not disappointing people....means that I am constantly compromising myself. Going a little further than you really wanted to, letting people get away with taking advantage of you just a little bit, feeling guilty for not being able to help/do something/whatever when it's not something that can be helped, letting people say things to you that are unnacceptable but just taking it. There are lots of little ways that I was letting boundaries be crossed and I've decided that I need to be more aware so I can change that.

The first step was to let my boss know how sucky my job has been. It was very liberating! I laid it all out to him. The problems that exist, why I think the problems exist, potential solutions to the problems, and what will happen if solutions aren't carried out (I will quit for sure). He was extremely receptive and we talked about things for an hour-and-a-half. He actually commiserated a bit with me, too. So, we're both on the same page and it was great to be able to lift the burden off my shoulders and have him share it with me.

My next focus will be to make sure I'm giving myself enough "me-time." I tend to never say "no" when people ask me to do things. I think I'm also going to start doing Yoga. I will become one with myself. (You're supposed to read that last sentence as though you are saying it in a very peaceful, breathy tone). :)

I should avoid trying to make life-decisions when I'm depressed or anxious. It really doesn't work out best. But, alas, I'm feeling better at the moment and not quite so desperate. I have been looking into language schools and found an interesting one in Costa Rica. It's called the Institute for Central American Development Studies and they have a summer internship program that is 10 weeks long. It's not horribly overpriced and I think it would be a great experience. So, I'm going to research it more and, if it seems like a reputable organization and I feel it's the right time for me, use it as a spring-board this next summer to my next phase.

I'm not 100% sure at this point, but I'm researching the International and Intercultural Communications degree at Denver University for Fall of 2006 that I posted about earlier. I was really stressing about the money/student loans, etc. But I just need to keep in mind that if that's what is going to make me happy, then I need to go ahead with it despite the money.

So, these are promising paths that sound fun to me. And even if I end up doing something other than the language school and the degree, I take comfort in the fact that I at least won't be doing the same thing I'm doing right now.

OK, so I've been completely annoyed with work the last few weeks. it's been even worse this week. And what sucks is that me moving to a new place, while a blessing, is also making me feel like I have to stay at my job....you know, the whole paying rent thing. So, I'm in my new place but I don't even feel like I can enjoy it because it makes me feel trapped since my job sucks so much. Didja follow that? So, I was depressed last night (which is unusual for me...I hardly ever get depressed) and I was still depressed this morning, even after my morning run (which is even more unusual). I just can't force myself to stay here just for the money and benefits. Is it practical to stay here? Yes, but how smart is it to force yourself to do something when it has such a negative effect on my emotional, mental, and physical well-being?? In other words, why force myself to be miserable just for money? I was brought up with values that did not hold money and materialistic things in high regard. Therefore, why the hell am I staying for money?

So, I'm trying to devise a plan to make much needed change in my life. I think I'm going to quit this Spring semester, take classes part-time, work a part-time job and get student loans. Student loans tend to scare me a bit, but how many people out there have two degrees and no student loans? Not too many....I've been really lucky up to this point, and perhaps it's finally time for me to join the masses and acquire some student loans.

But yeah, it's not the most straigh-forward plan, but maybe my life needs a bit of messing up in order to make some real damn change. I can't keep focusing my energy on something that doesn't "do it" for me. I need to start focusing on positive things.

Man, moving is such a pain in the ass. But I'm done! Yeay!! I'm all moved into my own place and it's so great! I'm already starting to feel less stressed and it will only get better. It's amazing how much crap I had. I actually gave QUITE a bit away to friends, Goodwill, and I left three pieces of larger furniture at the old house with my roommate. It's STILL a tight fit into the new place. And the new place isn't that small. I just had accumulated so much crap.

My cats are still getting used to the place. It's an older house that has been turned into a double (or maybe it was always a double, I don't know), and the hardwood floors creak quite a bit (more-so than my old place). I think it might be freaking them out a tad.

Anyway, once I have all the decor on the walls, I'll take pictures and post a few of them here. I should be done decorating within a afew days, hopefully.